A Taste of Darkness
by bugstories
Summary: "Emma, what are you doing?", Regina asked carefully, not sure if she should be afraid. Her heart was hammering loudly in her chest, her cheeks were hot and the situation itself was more than surreal. Emma – no – the the dark one, had kissed her and… some part of Regina wished she'd do it again... [Dark and smutty take on what might happen in season 5!]
1. Chapter 1

Regina was standing in the woods, the dagger in her hand. Her whole body was shaking. She let her thumb brush carefully along the name that was written on it and her heart felt as if it were about to burst. She was overwhelmed and desperate, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.

 _Emma Swan_. Fucking _Emma Swan_.

This couldn't be real. Not like this. She had done her very best to protect Emma's heart and she would have kept fighting. She would have done anything. But… the dark one? Seriously? This had to be a fucking joke.

Emma didn't deserve this. She wanted to turn back time. She needed to find a way, needed to find a solution, needed to find it _right fucking now_.

Gold could have – no _should_ have died. This could have been avoided! They shouldn't have tried to free his heart in the first place, they should have saved _her_ heart, okay? Hers alone. This curse and its madness could have ended!

She would never be able to forget this moment. This pure feeling of horror that had hit her the moment Emma had raised the godforsaken dagger in front of her. She had barely been able to see her, had been blinded by the darkness dancing around her body, her vision blurred from the horrible force that was sucking all light and energy out of her. But still she had seen her face. Had seen the tears in her eyes. Had seen how… how _scared_ she was.

Regina had screamed. Had screamed 'no!' from the top of her lungs, begging her to find another way. Of course she had known that they had no other choice, it would have been either her or Emma. But in this very moment, Regina would have gladly let the darkness suck her in, would have gladly suffered it all if it hadn't meant watching Emma disappear in front of her own eyes, not able to do anything about it.

Never in a million years Regina would have thought that another person would willingly make this kind of sacrifice for her. Still she was convinced she would have done the same for her. She didn't know what that meant, she didn't want to think about it, but she knew it to be true.

Even in this alternate reality she had felt it. This need to be there for her. A woman she hadn't known but had instantly wanted to protect. She had felt this… this _warmth_ as soon as their eyes had met and it had been so surprising and yet so familiar.

It all felt as if it had happened only minutes ago, but now Emma was gone and Regina had no idea what to expect. What would the dagger do to a person with such a huge potential for darkness? How badly would it affect her? What would she look like? What would she do? What would she feel about… them? Would she blame her? Would she hate her?

She could still hear Robin's voice in her ear, could hear Snow, Charming and Hook, telling her to wait, telling her to decide together what to do next. But she hadn't cared. She had run, had picked up the dagger and poofed herself away in a purple cloud because _no way_ she was going to discuss anything with these idiots right now. _No way_ she was going to let _them_ decide what to do about the person who had just given up her own happiness for her. _No way_ she was going to waste one more minute.

She needed to see her. Needed to talk to her. Needed to know what, or who, she was going to have to deal with from now on.

 _Breathe_ , she told herself. _Get it together_.

She closed her eyes for a second, blinking away the tears before biting the inside of her cheek, determined to get this right.

She was grabbing the dagger hard, her knuckles turning white as she spoke.

"I summon thee, dark one … from whatever realm thou art in …"

Regina could hear nothing but the wind rustling through the countless trees. Everything was completely quiet. She tried to make out any changes around her but it was dark, the moonlight only barely illuminating the scenery.

"Hello, _your majesty_."

Regina's whole body tensed and her heart skipped a beat as she heard Emma's voice right behind her. She could feel her presence now, could feel her standing only inches away from her, yet she didn't dare turn around. She was terrified. Terrified of who might await her. Of not seeing Emma anymore, despite the fact that she probably still looked the same.

She made a fist, her own fingernails digging into the palms of her hands, as she slowly turned around.

And there she was. Standing in front of her, in a dark pair of skinny jeans, a grey top and a black leather jacket. She wore her hair in a high ponytail with a braided detail halfway down her shimmery blonde locks.

And she was… smiling.

"Emma…", Regina whispered, searching for some warmth in the other woman's eyes. For some proof that the loving mother of her child was still in there somewhere.

But her smile wasn't warm. Her lips were smiling but her gaze was empty. Cold.

"Emma, I am _so_ sorry", Regina tried, slowly taking a step towards her, trying to make her understand that she truly meant it.

"I'm not", Emma replied, the smile still frozen on her lips. Her confidence was intimidating.

"I'm glad I did what I did. 'Cause you know what, Regina? I finally feel like myself. I finally feel free."

Regina frowned, not sure what to make of all this.

"Free from what, Emma?"

"Free from this fucking _savior crap_. Free from everyone's obsession with _happy endings_. For months I have asked myself what my own happy ending might look like. And to be quite honest, I couldn't think of anything. Sailing off into the sunset on the Jolly Rodger? With a one-handed lover? I can love myself with one hand, I don't need a man for that", she said, chuckling to herself.

"Being a _family_ with my wonderful _parents_?", she continued, her tone ironic as she was spitting out the words like venom. "My wonderful parents who replaced me with a new child, which they happened to name after my dead ex-boyfriend in order to rub another bad memory into my face for the rest of my life? Let me think about it for a second… _No._ "

"Emma…"

"Ssh, ssh, ssh…", Emma hushed her, "I am not finished yet."

The new dark one came even closer to Regina, putting an ice cold hand on her chin to make her look at her.

"I finally know what my happy ending is", she continued, their faces so close that their noses were almost touching.

"Wh- …", Regina cleared her throat. "What is it?"

Emma's smile grew wider.

"This", she stated simply. "Not giving a _fuck_ about anyone but myself. Being excused from saving people. Doing whatever the hell pleases me and whatever the fuck it takes to get it. Being my own most important person for a change."

Regina could feel Emma's breath on her face as she was trying to hold her gaze. She reached up her hand to touch Emma's, surprised that she let her.

"You're already somebody's most important person…", she swallowed. "Henry's."

Emma's eyes visibly softened at the mention of the boy's name, yet they quickly returned to their former coldness.

"Oh please, we both know you win the award for 'mother of the year'. It's always been you, Regina. He is your happy ending. Now you even managed to get him a new daddy… isn't it just _perfect_?"

Emma started laughing madly and Regina felt a cold shiver run down her spine. She knew that this wasn't the real Emma speaking, but on the other hand, she also knew that these were things Emma had truly felt, deep down. They were coming up to the surface now in a very extreme way, but they were real. She had been there herself. And it sucked.

"Robin isn't supposed to be Henry's dad, he's – "

And then Emma's lips were on hers, so suddenly, Regina's eyes widened in shock. In an instant, Emma had pushed her against the nearest tree, pinning her arms against the hard wood on either side of her body.

"Don't talk to me about Robin Hood, I don't want to hear it", Emma hissed between her teeth as she broke free from the kiss, Regina still staring at her in shock.

"Emma, what are you doing?", Regina asked carefully, not sure if she should be afraid. Her heart was hammering loudly in her chest, her cheeks were hot and the situation itself was more than surreal. Emma – no – _the the dark one_ , had kissed her and… some part of Regina wished she'd do it again. Even if it was all wrong, even if this person in front of her was obsessed by darkness… she wanted to feel close to her, now more than ever before.

"Isn't this why you summoned me, your majesty? Isn't this why you made sure that _you're_ the one who keeps the dagger?"

Emma was laughing again, laughing so hard, she threw her hair back, trying to catch her breath. It took her a moment to control herself again before she leaned forward, still holding Regina's hands firmly in place. Then her mouth was right next to Regina's ear as she let out a hot breath that made the other woman shiver.

"… don't tell me you haven't thought of it…", Emma whispered, her voice almost sweet.

"Thought of what?", Regina barely managed to ask, swallowing hard.

Emma smiled as she buried her nose in the spot between Regina's neck and shoulder and let out a soft moan. "Being fucked by the dark one."

Regina's eyes fell close at hearing those words, her entire body felt as if it were on fire. She felt her head spin, felt her knees become week and realized she had been holding her breath for the past few seconds.

 _What the fuck am I doing?_ , she thought to herself, gathering all her strength as she pushed Emma away from her and pulled the dagger out of her jacket. She held it in front of her body like a shield, her lower lip shivering slightly.

"Oooh there it is!", Emma said cheerfully, trying to take a closer look at her own name on the silver weapon.

"Don't come any closer!", Regina ordered, trying to sound confident again.

Emma was still smiling, casually twirling a blonde strand of hair around her index finger.

"Very well then, Madame Mayor. I suppose you're not going to just _give_ me the dagger, are you?", she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes with another wicked smile.

"Like hell I won't, Emma", Regina growled bitterly, finally feeling a little bit in control again.

"I will guard this godforsaken dagger with my life until I figured out how to free you from it."

Emma held Regina's gaze and for a brief second Regina thought she could see a glimpse of the real Emma again. A glimpse of a woman who was touched by the fact that another person was willing to fight for her.

But then Emma narrowed her eyes, slowly biting her lower lip, smiling seductively.

"Good luck with that, your majesty. But don't think too hard about saving me. Or about me kissing you against that tree…"

Regina knew Emma couldn't come any closer because she had told her not to, yet she was so highly aware of her presence, so drawn in by her words, it felt as if she were moving towards her anyway.

"Don't think about all the things you could make me do to you. All the things you could tell me and I'd have no other choice but to oblige… Does that excite you, _Regina_?"

Regina felt her blood pumping in her own ears. Her breath was short. This needed to stop.

"Leave. _Now._ "

Emma looked her in the eyes once more before bowing down and suddenly disappearing into the cool night air.

Everything was quiet again.

Everything except for Regina's own thoughts which were screaming loudly inside of her head.

She leaned her back against the tree and let herself sink onto the grass as she shut her eyes – the dagger pressed closely to her chest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the lovely feedback. I hope you're going to enjoy the ride - and feel free to let me know what you think!**

 **xxxxx**

"Where the hell have you been?"

Snow was yelling at Regina, running towards her as the other woman entered the apartment. "Where is she? Have you seen her? Have you spoken to her?"

Her eyes were red and puffy and it was obvious she had been crying for the past few hours.

Hook was right by her side, looking completely lost.

"Regina, where's the dagger? You should give it to me, I'm going to take care of it", he told her, trying to stay calm.

"No, give it to us", Snow interrupted him. "No offense, Killian, but Emma is our daughter, we know what's best for her."

Regina shook her head, needing to sit down.

"I brought the dagger to a safe place and I am going to keep it."

"Regina, no, David and I – "

"Have done a terrible job protecting her so far", Regina interrupted her former enemy in a strict voice. "The dagger stays with me. I'll figure out how to handle the situation and until then, the dagger is going to stay where no one, especially not Emma, can find it. I'm sorry, Snow, but I know more about dark magic than you and I know that Emma is going to try to get her hands on the thing as soon as possible. I have no idea what the darkness is going to make her do, what her plans are, but if anyone can handle the possibilities, it's me."

Snow swallowed audibly as David let her hand rest on his wife's shoulder.

"My mom's right", Henry supported Regina. "We have to trust her with this. And we're going to find a way to get her rid of this darkness… right, mom?"

Regina sighed.

"Right, Henry."

But was he really right? Regina had, in fact, absolutely no idea what to do. All she knew was that as soon as everyone else tried to get involved, things would only end up being more complicated. Gold had managed to live a relatively normal life as the dark one in Storybrooke, but Regina knew that it was different with Emma. She had seen her change during the last couple of weeks, had seen how the situation with her parents, Lily and killing Cruella had affected her and – above all – she had seen the new Emma. She had seen the look in her eyes, had heard that manic laugh, had heard her say these things about Hook and her family… Emma was going to be a difficult case and if she didn't act quickly, she knew it might be too late. She was not going to risk that.

"Then where is she, Regina?", Snow interrupted her thoughts, the desperation in her voice slowly reaching its peak. "Tell us!"

Regina closed her eyes for a second as she took a deep breath.

"I don't know", she replied truthfully. "I saw her briefly and she told me something about finally not being the savior anymore, something about being free…"

"Why didn't you bring her to us? I need to speak to her, Regina, now! Can't you just call her with the dagger so she has to talk to us? I want to see my daughter!"

"Enough now, Snow!" Regina growled, "You need to calm down, do you understand me? I don't think Emma wants to see anyone right now or she'd probably be here by now. She's free to go and do whatever she wants and right now it's pretty clear that she wants to be alone."

Snow was crying again and David, who apparently had no idea what to contribute to the conversation, kept stroking her back, his face unreadable.

"Regina…", Hook started, slowly approaching the woman. "Did she say anything about me? Maybe it'd help if I talked to her in private. Do you have any idea where she might have gone? Maybe I can talk some sense into her."

Regina had to keep herself from laughing bitterly, clearly remembering what Emma had said to her not too long ago. She felt almost sorry for the pirate who seemed to be nothing more to this version of Emma than a really bad lover. She realized she didn't even have the heart to tell him the truth – a truth she would have enjoyed rubbing into his face any other day.

"She didn't mention you. And as I said, I have no idea where she went. If I see her, I'll let you know."

Hook nodded, sinking his head as he opened his flask.

"And if you'll excuse me now, I need to start doing my research so this _situation_ can be handled properly", Regina said firmly before poofing herself out of the building and leaving behind two stunned Charmings, a concerned Henry and a mildly depressed pirate.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Emma was leaning against a tree, breathing heavily. She was aware of her situation, yet she didn't have the power to do anything about it. She could feel that there was still a small bit of sanity left in her brain, but it felt as if there were suddenly two souls inside of her head, both trying to get what they want. And one was definitely stronger than the other.

While some tiny little voice told her she probably had to leave Storybrooke in order to save everyone from what she might become, that other part made it hard to think clearly. The other part wanted people to suffer for what she had gone through in her childhood. Wanted to hurt or even kill abusive foster parents. Wanted to rip that one girl's heart out who had once humiliated her in jail. Wanted to smash the police officer's head who had called her trashy and useless after he arrested her. She was thirsty for revenge and she was angry.

Rage was building up inside of her and she made a fist, not knowing how to slow her feelings down. She tried counting to ten but pictures of her past were repeatedly dancing in front of her inner eye, feelings she hadn't felt in years suddenly all rushing through her in waves of hyper realistic flashbacks. Loneliness, anger, desperation, disappointment, fear, hopelessness… every single negative emotion she had experienced in her life seemed to hit her with full force. Being abandoned by countless families. Giving Henry away right after he was born. Watching Neal die in her arms.

Emma couldn't take it anymore as she brought her hands up to her head, tugging on her hair and letting out a desperate cry. She punched the tree hard. Once. Twice. Until her hand was covered in her own blood.

"Make it stop… Make it stop", she whispered to herself as tears were streaming down her face and she sank down onto the dirty forest floor, hugging her legs in front of her chest and humming a melody to herself that had used to calm her down when she was little.

If that was what it's like to be the dark one, to be trapped in your own thoughts and your own nightmares, she would fight back. She'd find ways to compensate. She was extremely powerful and not a weak little girl in a dirty foster home anymore. Maybe it was her time to make them all pay. Maybe she'd make every single person responsible for this pay their price and maybe she'd find peace. She needed that fucking dagger.

The dagger, however, was in Regina's control and in a completely weird and unexpected way, the thought excited her. Somehow, in all of this, she pictured Regina by her side. Regina was the only one who'd understand. The only one who had gone down such a dark path and who knew more about revenge than most people did.

Emma had always felt this certain fascination when it came to the other woman. Had always felt their connection and always enjoyed her company. But now, ever since the darkness had started to fill her entire being, her feelings had intensified. It felt as if raw instincts had kicked in, telling her to be near the other woman. To make her see what she was capable of. To make her proud. Arouse her, even.

What could be better than having the Evil Queen by her side in all of this? Maybe Emma didn't need to be saved, maybe it was Regina who needed to be brought back on the right path. All the things they could accomplish together, with their combined powers… the possibilities were endless.

Emma felt herself calm down again, silently laughing to herself. She couldn't believe she hadn't realized it sooner. Yes, what they had was special. But what she had in mind was far better than 'special'. It was fucking magnificent. And together they would be invincible.

She was looking down at her bloody hands when something inside of her seemed to click.

She wouldn't be hurt anymore.

And she wouldn't let anyone hurt Regina.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Regina was in her bedroom, her head spinning from all the reading on the dagger and its curse she had done in the previous hours. So far it had all been extremely frustrating as it was obviously neither an option to keep Emma in the state she was in, nor to let her die.

She wondered where Emma might be right now, where she would sleep, what she had planned and what the hell was going on in her head.

Her thoughts were drifting back to their conversation in the woods and the things that had happened that she certainly wouldn't be able to tell anyone about. Their relationship had never been very physical as both women had usually been very controlled when they were around each other. The fact that Emma's new dark side had turned everything upside down was scary and yet somewhat… _thrilling_.

The feeling of Emma's lips pressed forcefully against her own while being pinned against a tree was not only unexpected, it was something Regina usually despised. All her life she had hated people who were trying to control her in one way or another, had hated everyone who treated her disrespectfully… but this? This was different.

Regina desperately needed to know why. Why Emma would even think about doing this, think about kissing her or, god forbid, more than that. Darkness had usually always made her want to do the things she had most desired. It had stripped her of all moral values, stripped her of all rational thought and compassion whenever she wanted to achieve her goals. But certainly Emma had never felt that way about her before, had she?

She had ignored all of Robin's incoming calls for now, not knowing what to say to him. She didn't want to see him, even though she knew it wasn't fair to him to shut him out like that. But what was she supposed to do? Cuddle in bed and come up with a master plan together? The man meant a lot to Regina but, truth be told, he was just a thief after all. He had no useful knowledge when it came to dark magic and he didn't know Emma very well. Not the way she did.

Regina was lying on her bed now, toying with the dagger, completely lost in thought. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to go through her options once again, when suddenly she felt her own body stiffen.

She wasn't alone anymore and even though she had a pretty good idea who to expect when she'd open her eyes, the thought scared her to no end. She gripped the dagger harder.

"You do know I can always make you leave?", she managed to bring out, finally opening her eyes and staring straight into Emma's who was standing right next to her bed, looking at her with a smug grin on her face.

"Something tells me that you don't want me to. Why else would you be clinging to my dagger as if you missed me already?"

Regina sat up, turning on the small lamp on her nightstand in order to see the other woman better.

"What are you doing here, Emma?" she asked, trying to read her face. "I'm not going to give you what you want."

Emma chuckled.

"Oh I know, Regina." She paused, scanning the other woman with her eyes and appreciating the silky nightgown with raised eyebrows.

"But did you ever think that maybe I could give you something that _you_ want?"

Regina stood up, acting more confident than she felt as she returned Emma's challenging gaze.

"And what would that be, Miss Swan?"

Emma came even closer, reaching out her hand to softly brush a strand of dark hair out of Regina's face which made the other woman visibly shiver.

Her voice was soft but firm when she spoke.

"More than you can imagine right now."


	3. Chapter 3

**Whoops, I have to say, I enjoy writing this story much more than originally expected. Hope you will too. Feedback is always appreciated ;)**

xxxxx

Emma let herself fall onto Regina's bed as if it were her own, quickly finding a comfortable position. She motioned the other woman to sit down next to her but Regina was just staring at her, her own arms crossed in front of her chest.

Emma smirked.

"Why so shy, Madame Mayor? Does it make you uncomfortable to have me in your bedroom? Do you always wear such pretty little dresses to bed? Or did you put that on for pouty-face?"

Regina's eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath.

"What do you want, Emma?"

Emma smiled at her.

"Actually, I want to show you something."

A second later, Regina found herself in the woods again, fully dressed in a black skirt and coat, wearing her favorite high heels.

Holy shit.

The curse had definitely given Emma more power. A week ago she had been impressed by the woman's ability to create a fake copy of a page from the book, now she had not only dressed her and transported them both to another place – Regina was staring at a building she had never seen before, which had, no doubt, been created by Emma alone. It was still dark outside but the massive house was illuminated by two big spotlights positioned on the ground which highlighted its impressive façade. It was a fucking mansion.

She glanced over to the other woman who was proudly looking at her own work, one hand on her hip.

"You like it?", Emma asked the rather stunned woman, taking her hand as she led her to its entrance.

"What the hell is this, Emma?", Regina asked, perplexed. "Where did this come from? Are we even still in Storybrooke?"

Emma tightened her grip on Regina's hand as she pushed the door open and stepped into the big entrance hall with its high ceilings and a very modern interior.

"What, did you think I'd keep living with my parents?", Emma wanted to know, frowning. "Did you think I'd live under a tree? I'm the dark one and a bit more refined", she added with a wink.

Regina couldn't help but smile to herself, trying not to let the other woman see.

"The house has been here before. Not in this condition, obviously, but I found it while looking for a good place to stay. No idea who it belonged to or why it's even here, but I figured I could use a place far away from all these people I don't actually want to see right now. It just needed a little… _refurbishment_."

"Well, I have to say…", Regina started slowly, taking a look around the huge dining room Emma had taken her to, "… I am impressed."

Emma paused, sitting down at the edge of the long wooden dinner table, finally letting go of Regina's hand.

"I am powerful, Regina", Emma stated slowly, as if she herself was surprised by what she was capable of. "And it's…"

Regina took a step forward, searching her eyes.

"Scary? Unexpected?", she tried to finish the other woman's sentence.

"No… It's…", Emma swallowed before looking straight at Regina.

"It feels _amazing_."

Regina held her gaze, although she could feel her own pulse speeding up. Emma was truly enjoying this, wasn't she? And Regina knew exactly how she felt. She clearly remembered the first time she had felt truly powerful. Remembered what it felt like to rip another person's heart out. The thrill. Being in control. Being unstoppable. Inducing fear in other people. Knowing that they would do whatever she wanted them to – _beg_ her for her forgiveness or her kindness – because they knew they would never be able to stop her. Power felt fucking amazing at first. Until it was all you had left. Until you were completely alone.

"I know it does", she finally admitted. "But it's dangerous, Emma. You're going to lose yourself."

"Oh please!", Emma replied, laughing. "I am _finding_ myself. You said it yourself a long time ago – that there's all this potential inside of me and I've been wasting it."

"I know that I said that."

Regina was chewing on her bottom lip now, careful not to say the wrong things. Careful not to push this too far.

"And really Emma, I always knew your magic was one of a kind. But you were using it for _good_. You're a –"

"If you say _hero_ now, I'm going to end you!" Emma interrupted her, the last bit of kindness leaving her voice. Her eyes seemed darker than before and Regina could see the inside of her cheek twitching nervously.

"Fine." Regina growled. "I don't particularly like the word either."

Emma nodded and visibly relaxed again, hopping off the table as she took Regina to her her living room which offered a huge leather sofa and a large bar with all kinds of alcoholic beverages. Regina let her hand move along the sofa's black armrest, lost in thought, when she felt Emma's hand softly brush against her back.

Regina's muscles tensed and she was still surprised by the effect the other woman's touch had on her. What was she going to do about any of this? Was she going to tell Hook and the Charmings about Emma's new living situation? How long would she be able to keep this from them? They were going to ask questions and Regina wasn't sure what would happen once they were confronted with this new version of Emma. Things could get ugly real quickly.

"Don't you miss it?", Emma finally whispered, her voice much softer again. "Being in control?"

"I am in control, Emma. The author is gone. We can do whatever we want to do, without being pushed by fate."

"But I want more", Emma told her, her mouth right next to her ear. "I want so much more, Regina. I want revenge for all the shit you and I have been going through."

Regina's eyes widened at those words and she slowly turned her head around to look at Emma, their faces impossibly close.

"You and I?", she asked slowly, not sure what that even meant.

"Yes. You and I. I told you once that you're the only one who truly understands me, and I meant what I said back then. And I finally feel like I truly understand _you_ , like I truly get which place you were coming from. Your dark past has never scared me. And now, it doesn't only _not scare_ me, it _excites_ me. I feel like we're connected, in so many ways."

Regina swallowed, feeling Emma's breath against her own.

"You adopted my child, Regina. We're family. We're… connected for a reason. We can both help each other in getting what we want. We can have _anything_. We can take Henry and leave. Make the world our own. No one's going to stop us."

"What about Hook…?", Regina asked slowly, trying once again to remind Emma of someone she supposedly loved. To try and find some of the old Emma in her eyes.

"Hook is weak", Emma stated, completely indifferent. "I don't need weak people in my life."

They were looking at each other for what felt like an eternity and Regina wondered if Emma could hear her heart beating as loudly as she heard it herself.

"The only person I _need_ …" Emma continued, her voice an octave lower than usual.

"… is standing right in front of me."

Regina held her breath, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were moving rapidly in her head, trying to find answers. Trying to react in an appropriate way, even though she knew there was none.

For a brief second she thought about closing the last bit of distance between them. Of not caring for a moment and just giving into the idea of being wanted by Emma, of being desired and accepted in every way. All of her senses were heightened and she was completely aware of the other woman's smell, the heat radiating from her body, the tips of her blonde locks barely brushing against her skin. This was going too far and she knew it.

She tried to think of Robin, hoping it would make her want to leave. Hoping it would make her lose interest and remind her of who she really wanted to be with. But something about Emma… something about the fire in her eyes, about the way she spoke, about her confidence… it made it entirely impossible to resist.

Regina was breathing heavily now, her chest moving fast.

"Are you nervous?", Emma whispered.

It must have looked ridiculous when she shook her head, Regina knew that, but no words wanted to come out of her mouth. She couldn't remember the last time something or someone had truly made her speechless.

"Good", Emma breathed out, smiling. "Because I am going to kiss you now, Regina Mills."

Regina didn't dare close her eyes because as soon as she did, she knew it would make it all too real. She knew she should teleport herself out of this room before it was too late, but she was paralyzed.

And then Emma's lips touched hers. Slowly. Delicately. Not rushed.

And Regina let her. And her eyes fell close anyway.

She stood completely still, her chest hurting from a beating heart she had never felt as strongly as she did right then.

Emma's lips were pressed against hers, motionless, her breath hot against her mouth. Then, all of a sudden, Emma's hand was on Regina's ass, grabbing it forcefully and pulling her even closer to her own body.

Regina felt the arousal run straight to her core and she wasn't sure she had ever been that excited about being close to someone before in her life. She knew there was no turning back now. Her body wouldn't let her.

A hand was grabbing a fistful of dark hair and Emma opened her mouth, her demanding tongue searching Regina's. Her own mouth opened instinctively and _fuck_ – here she was, kissing the dark one with everything she had.

It felt as if sparks were flying around her head and Regina was sure she had never experienced a kiss like that before. It felt almost as if… as if their magic combined. As if kissing Emma were awakening some of that dark power inside of her body that had been slumbering for a long while now. The last time she had felt a comparable kind of arousal was back in the Enchanted Forest, by the times Maleficent had come to visit her in the chambers of her own castle and she had thought she had found an equal counterpart in the other woman. But Maleficent's magic was nothing compared to _this_. Nothing could come even close.

Emma must have felt it too as she was groaning now, gripping Regina's ass harder, squeezing it with both hands while biting down hard on the woman's lower lip.

This wasn't good. This was bad. She was supposed to save Emma from the dagger, instead she let her kiss her, let her manipulate her, allowed her to make her feel things she was _not_ supposed to be feeling. But _fuck_ , it was too good to stop.

Just when Regina's own hand started to move and grabbed the other woman's leather jacket, Emma suddenly pulled away.

"No!", Emma almost screamed, Regina's eyes widening in shock. "Fuck, no!"

"What happened?" Regina asked her, entirely confused and slightly intimidated by the horror on the other woman's face.

"The _dagger_!", Emma growled, "you left it behind in your house. I'm being fucking summoned!"

Regina's heart skipped a beat as she watched Emma slowly disappear in front of her own eyes.

"By whom?" she asked, panic in her voice.

Emma's eyes darkened, her face mirroring pure hatred.

"Hook."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews! You rock!**

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One second Emma was looking into Regina's worried eyes, the next second she found herself back in the other woman's bedroom, staring straight at Hook who held her dagger in his hand with shaky fingers. He was looking at her expectantly, like a lost little puppy. _Pathetic_.

She swallowed hard, biting the inside of her cheek to remain calm. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to attack him right then. The man might not have been the brightest candle on the cake, still he was holding a tool in his hand that gave him absolute power over her, in case he decided to use it. She had to be careful.

He released a breath he must have been holding for a while, visibly relaxing.

"Emma… You… you look different, love."

"Thanks, I borrowed your eyeliner", Emma replied coldly, trying not to roll her eyes.

Hook smiled, though it was obviously out of pure insecurity. Why had she ever decided to date this man? Emma didn't know. She felt nothing for him. Not anymore. He wasn't even that good looking.

"Where have you been?", he tried, his voice unsteady. "I… I needed to see you."

Emma returned the smile, though there was nothing warm about her expression. She took a step in his direction, confidently, while the pirate subconsciously moved a step backwards.

Was he scared? How cute.

"Had I wanted to see you, you would have known", Emma answered bluntly, her eyes inconspicuously drifting back to the dagger he was still holding tightly.

"Emma, I… I wanted to tell you that we can fix it, you know? I will find a way to free you from this thing. We'll ask the crocodile, once he wakes up, surely he must know of other alternatives – "

"Oh, come on Hook. You think Gold will borrow us his 'How to free myself from being the most powerful dark creature in all realms'-handbook and we'll quickly follow the instructions? You don't think he has tried everything he could think of in these past few hundred years? Besides, who says I _want_ to undo what I've done? Maybe it's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Emma was laughing, taking another step towards Hook whose back was touching Regina's closet now.

"I doubt that, love. We are all very worried and we want to help you, if you let us ", Hook explained and Emma dramatically pushed her hand against her chest, faking her affection.

"That's _so_ sweet of you all", she told him, brushing her hand along his arm and chuckling at the fact that the man's entire body immediately tensed. "I really don't know what I'd do without you."

Seconds later she had him pushed against the wooden closet, a seductive smirk on her face.

"And now, _Killian_ , you're going to give me what's mine, aren't you?"

She was softly nibbling at his earlobe, realizing how quickly the man's knees were turning weak. This was almost too easy.

Hook let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a second, obviously torn between touching Emma and trying not to fall for her act.

"Emma…", he tried, his eyes rolling back into his head once his girlfriend was sucking that one particular spot at his neck that made him lose all rational thought. "Emma, please…"

"Please what?", Emma replied in between kisses, slowly growing impatient. "You want me to be free, don't you? I'm still a human being, Killian. I still have feelings."

She was looking at him now, still standing very close to him, trying to look as vulnerable as possible. She let her chin shiver as if she were about to cry and carefully wrapped her own hand around Hook's who was still holding the silver weapon with her name on it.

"Don't you think that if anyone was able to take good care of that thing it should be me? Don't you think I've been through enough already?"

She managed to squeeze out a single tear and she could see the hurt in Hook's eyes, could see how his heart was breaking for her. He really did love her, didn't he?

"I'm sorry, love, I don't think I can do that. I know you think you can manipulate me, and it's almost working, but don't forget that I can see darkness when it's right in front of me. And this, Emma, this is not you."

"Oh… really?", Emma replied slowly, an almost scary smile tugging on her lips. And before the man knew what was happening, she had punched him in the face. Hard. Hook was so shocked that he let the dagger fall onto the ground, groaning in the process. But Emma wasn't done.

In an instant she had one hand wrapped around his throat, the other one keeping the man's wrist and his sharp hook in place. Emma was pleasantly surprised by her own strength, enjoying the fact that he didn't seem to stand a chance in all this.

She could see the horror in his eyes when she strangled him harder, could see the pleading look he gave her, loving the sound of his muffled and breathless cries.

She was so focused on the sensation, so focused on what it felt like to see another person's life die out in front of her own eyes, she didn't even notice the purple cloud that had appeared right next to them. All she could see was the blood dripping from his nose down to her own hand in thick drops and the way his eyeballs were slowly bulging out of their sockets.

"This is for breaking into Regina's home", she yelled at him, ramming her knee into his groin.

"And this is for summoning me when I had fucking better things to do!" She added another strong kick, Hook's eyes teary now.

"Emma!", Regina said softly, putting her hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Please, you need to stop, you're going to kill him and this isn't what you want, trust me."

"It's exactly what I want, Regina", Emma replied in a whisper, cold eyes still focused on a weak pirate.

"Emma…", Regina tried again. "I could use the dagger to make you stop, but I won't. Please, listen to me. This is the man you once loved." She sighed, closing her eyes. "Hell, I can't say I like him, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't deserve to die."

"He broke into your _house_ , Regina. Into your _bedroom_!", she pressed out between gritted teeth. "He stole my _dagger_!"

"But your dagger is here now, Emma. Look? I have it. And I'm going to give it to you as soon as you let him go. Then he's going to leave and he won't come back. He's a pirate, Emma. Stealing is what he does. It's not worth it. I know you're angry – I've been there – but he's not the villain here. I know there are many people who have hurt you, Emma. And I'm so very sorry about that. But please, killing Hook won't make anything better."

Emma's eyes narrowed and a second later she stepped back and released her grasp. Hook was sliding to the ground, coughing hard, his own hand on his throat as if he were trying to still the pain.

"We're over", Emma told him with a shrug before sitting down in the armchair next to Regina's bedroom window.

Regina gave the man an almost compassionate look as she helped him get up from the ground.

"You should leave", she whispered, her eyes allowing no backtalk. "I'll handle this."

Regina handed him a tissue so he could clean up the blood from his face and he accepted it gratefully.

"I'm not giving up on you, Emma", Hook told her, not able to hide the hurt in his voice. "You're my happy ending and I will fight for you."

Emma sighed, massaging her temples.

"Whatever, Hook. Please leave, you're giving me a headache."

Hook was looking at Regina as if he were expecting her to save him, but the woman shrugged apologetically, leading him out of the room.

"We need to do something", he whispered angrily when they arrived at the front door. We can't let that happen to her. The old Emma would want us to bring her back!"

"Tell me something I don't know", Regina growled, pushing him out of her house. "And I'm working on it. But you need to stay away, you hear me? You seem to trigger something inside of her and I don't know what it is or where this sudden hate is coming from, but it's not good for her to be around you. Do you understand?"

The pirate nodded, slowly scratching the back of his head as he turned and walked away. Regina did feel sorry for him, even though she couldn't deny that a tiny fragment of her was proud to see what role she seemed to play in Emma's life now and how the other woman wanted to be near her instead of her boyfriend. Well, _ex-boyfriend_. Of course this was a different Emma, but Regina knew exactly what it felt like to be dark. She knew exactly that people went after the things they truly desired. And yes, the thought was exciting. Much more than it should be.

"Oh, and Hook?", she called after him and he turned around to look at her once more.

"The next time you break into my house, _I'll_ be the one to strangle you."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Regina stepped back into her bedroom she had to catch her breath.

Emma was standing in front of her open closet, searching through her stuff – wearing nothing but her dark jeans and a black bra.

She cleared her throat and Emma looked at her, entirely unimpressed.

"I need to borrow a shirt. Mine's bloody."

"Sure… go ahead", Regina replied with raised eyebrows. "You can also…" she paused. "Take a shower. If you want."

"That'll do", Emma stated, taking out a simple black t-shirt and slowly pulling it over her head.

Regina didn't want to stare but she felt her heart beat a little faster at the sight in front of her. Emma's toned stomach was… _attractive_ , to say the least. So was her bra. And the size of her breasts. And the fact that the same attractive woman, who was now changing in front of her, had kissed her earlier that night.

She swallowed.

"Can we talk about what just happened?", Regina asked carefully, sitting down at the edge of her bed.

"About the fact that Hook kept me from giving you the best orgasm of your life?", Emma asked Regina with a wink, straightening her shirt.

Regina took a deep breath.

"I mean the fact that you almost killed someone you love and don't seem to be upset about it at all."

Emma shrugged.

"I'm not."

Regina nodded, carefully deliberating her next words.

"I am going to give you your dagger now…" she began, slowly. "Because I promised you that I would and I want you to know that you can trust me."

Emma was smiling at her and it actually looked like she meant it.

"But Emma, I need you to promise me something as well. I _need_ you to remember who you are. I need you to remember that you were the one who helped me fight my inner darkness once and that I… _we_ … can do the same for you. Together. If you're willing to try."

Emma took a step towards the other woman, taking the dagger from her. She was eyeing it closely, her thumb brushing along her own name. Then she gave it back to Regina.

"I don't want it."

Regina was confused, not having expected that answer. It was unusual, the dark one denying the chance of owning its own dagger. It didn't make sense. But then again, a lot about Emma didn't make sense at all.

"Why not?"

All of a sudden, something like sadness seemed to flicker through Emma's eyes, just shortly. She was looking at Regina, more insecure than the other woman had seen her all night, and sat down next to her.

"I can't do it. I'm not going to stop next time."

Regina nodded, understanding. She knew the feeling. Knew the rush. It could be intoxicating.

"You calm me, Regina. And you excite me. Both at the same time. Weird, isn't it?"

"I guess…", Regina replied, a small smile tugging on her lips.

"I want to be near you. I can't tell you why, but it's the truth. It's like the only thing that's still making sense to me in all this fuckery. And yes, I also want to kiss you and rip off your clothes…", she smiled. "…But apart from that basic instinct, I know that I can trust you. And I want you to have that dagger."

Emma's hand ended up on Regina's thigh and it felt as if it were burning right through the material of her pants.

The realization hit Regina, again, that she wanted Emma to touch her. Wanted to drown in the feeling of being wanted by her. Of being more to her than Hook. Of being everything her dark heart could possibly desire.

And yes, if she were honest with herself, Regina would have to admit that she had felt more for Emma for quite a long time now. She had never allowed her mind to go there, had never considered these thoughts to be a realistic possibility, but Emma's words, Emma's touch… it was like a spark had finally set everything alight.

But it couldn't happen like this, could it? What good would it do to get so involved with Emma's dark side? How would she ever protect the woman from any of this when she allowed herself to become weak? It was already hard enough to deal with the fact that Emma had sacrificed herself for her. To deal with the fact that the woman she had grown to care for so deeply was gone and that she had to tell her son that she wasn't sure his other mother would ever be the same again… But once she'd actually get involved with her in _that_ way, they'd end up being hurt even more. She'd risk everything she had worked for with Robin. She'd be toying with the darkness she had fought against for the past years of her life and – worst of all – she'd most likely fall even harder for this woman who might end up using her to scratch an itch and who would probably forget about her once she was back to her old self. She couldn't risk that. She needed to keep a clear head.

When Emma's hand slowly travelled up Regina's thigh and was close to leaving appropriate ground, Regina finally grabbed the dagger, taking a deep breath before she spoke.

"Do not touch me, Emma Swan. Seriously. Do not touch me unless I tell you it's okay. Not today and not ever."

Emma's hand immediately backed away like it had no other choice and the woman stared at Regina in shock.

"You can _not_ be serious, Regina", Emma growled, her eyes glinting with rage.

"I just told you I trusted you with this thing, and now you use it against me? Like a _second_ later? _Fuck you_!"

Regina held the other woman's gaze, convinced that she had made the right choice.

"It's better for us", she stated calmly, "you'll agree with me one day."

Emma shook her head angrily, ripping the borrowed shirt off of her as if it were burning.

"Keep your fucking shirt and go to hell, _your majesty_."

The words stung but there was no other way. Emma was angry now, but she'd calm down again. She had to.

A second later, the room was empty and quiet.

Regina's eyes rested on the black shirt Emma had thrown at her.

Less than an hour later, she was sleeping soundly.

Her head buried in black cotton. Her mind occupied with the dark one's body. Her nose inhaling Emma's smell.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, I think I have to start adding all kinds of warnings for future chapters, such as possible dubcon and mentions of rape. It's going to take a pretty dark road in the future, but there will be a happy ending I suppose ;)**

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Regina was breathing heavily in her sleep. She was grabbing her sheets, hard. The images in her head were out of control.

She found herself back in the Enchanted Forest, wearing a black dress. There was fire everywhere and Regina knew she was about to enact the dark curse again. The flames were dancing in front of her face and her entire body was hot. She knew that the final thing she needed was the heart of the person she loved most. It scared her to no end.

Her vision was blurred by the thick black smoke surrounding her, almost suffocating her. She knew she was running out of time but it was hard to see, hard to move, hard to breathe.

Then she heard her voice. Heard her before she saw her.

Emma.

Chained to a tree.

Her face was hidden behind the hood of her dark brown coat but her blonde locks were clearly visible underneath. She didn't fight against the chains. She didn't move at all.

Regina came closer, in slow-motion, until she was standing right in front of her. Her skin felt as it if were burning and she couldn't understand Emma. Could only hear something that sounded like a soft plea, repeated over and over again like a mantra.

They were all alone and Regina didn't know what to do. All that she knew was that she needed it. Needed her heart. Needed her heart and throw it into these flames to make it all stop. To end this nightmare.

She took another step closer, slowly touching the brown hood before pulling it off the other woman's head.

Regina's heart stopped when she saw Emma's almost snake-like skin and the bloodshed eyes that were burning holes into her own.

„ _Kill me, Regina. Please. Please, kill me!"_

Regina sat up straight in her bed, her forehead covered in sweat.

She turned on the lamp on her nightstand, trying to focus on her breathing. She had suffered from nightmares her entire life, but nothing had ever felt quite like this. So real and intense. So confusing and frightening.

Regina nearly jumped when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

„Nightmares? Again?", Robin asked sleepily, his fingers brushing along her back. Regina instantly felt the urge to push his hand away but chose to take another deep breath instead.

„Yes", she replied huskily, looking at the alarm clock and realizing it was only 3 a.m.

„I'm gonna go get some water."

As soon as she arrived in the kitchen, she quickly poured herself some water from the tap and drowned the cold liquid with three big gulps. Why did she have to feel so dizzy?

Steadying herself against the counter, she wondered how long she was going to be able to pretend she had a plan. How long she was going to tell herself that she'd find a solution to their problem. How many books about dark magic she'd have to go through before the library finally had nothing left to offer. How many times she'd have to look Snow and Henry in the eyes, telling them she had everything under control, when, in fact, she was feeling completely lost.

It had been 5 days since her last encounter with the dark one – and Emma hadn't left her mind since. Five long days in which she had desperately wished for Emma to visit her again but had felt too nervous and helpless to summon her herself.

Emma was mad at her and she had every right to be. But she also needed someone she trusted in her life, someone she could turn to and talk to, before it was too late.

Regina felt like a complete failure.

„What is it, darling? Are you not feeling well?"

Regina nearly jumped when Robin's voice interrupted the quiet.

"I…", she started slowly, not sure she should be having this conversation in the middle of the night after such an intense dream.

"You…?", Robin tried to encourage her, coming closer.

"I'm sorry, Robin. But… I don't think I can do this. _Us_. I'm not ready."

Robin went completely still. He stared at Regina as if she had spoken another language, frowning as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Regina, where is this coming from? You've been so distant towards me this whole week… ever since Emma – "

"Don't say it", Regina hissed, her eyes darkening. "I just don't think I can enjoy our time together when all I can think of is the fact that it should have been _me_ , okay? It should have been _my_ name on that dagger. Emma is suffering because of _me_ , and I'm not going to go back to being happy until I've found a way to help her."

Robin nodded slowly.

"We have all the time in the world, Regina. We don't have to rush things. I know it's been a lot to handle lately. Marian being Zelena, the baby, …"

Regina tried to hold back an unfavourable laugh, but it slipped out anyway.

"Right. _That_. You know, Robin, I never thought I'd say this, but you having a child with my evil sister is the least of my problems right now, and that's saying something."

The man looked hurt, his hand awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Regina bit her lower lip as she looked down to her feet.

"As a matter of fact, I do", she finally said, meeting his eyes again. "It doesn't feel right. And that's not your fault, but, … yeah. I can't handle this right now. I appreciate you trying to help, but I need to do this on my own. I can't pretend to be happy while she's out there somewhere, going through hell."

Regina couldn't help but feel relieved as soon as the words had come out of her mouth. Being near Robin had barely felt like a happy ending anymore. She had felt trapped. Trapped in a lie. He had chosen his wife over her and, perhaps, Regina would have been able to look past that at some point – but pretending they were fine just wasn't an option anymore. They could have worked on their relationship if the circumstances had been different, but right now they simply weren't.

Robin had started getting dressed and finally took his jacket from the coat rack, a tortured smile on his lips.

"Take your time, Regina. I'll wait for you. And if you need me, please, give me a call."

A minute later he was gone and Regina let her head rest against the fridge for a moment, trying to process what she had just done. And _why_ she had done it.

Sure, there was guilt. But there was more.

The fact that he had kissed her earlier that night and all Regina had been able to think of were Emma's lips on her own, for instance.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Regina had tried to go back to sleep but her mind wouldn't let her. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Emma's face in front of her. Saw the desperation in her nearly black eyes. Heard her pleading voice. It was driving her insane.

She had brought the dagger to a safe place a few days ago. Had secured it with a spell so that no one would be able to touch it but herself. Of course she could go and get it. Could summon Emma. Could tell her she was sorry and that she didn't want to upset her. But she didn't want to use it anymore. She didn't want to do anything against Emma's will. If Emma wanted to see her, she knew where to find her. And if Regina were to visit her, Emma should be able to decide if she wanted her around or not. She wasn't going to force her.

She stared at the red numbers of her radio alarm clock but time seemed to stand still.

Before Regina knew it, her body had made a decision for her and she was getting dressed. Yes, it might have been the middle of the night, but somehow Regina didn't expect Emma to be sleeping. Somehow she figured that it might be the blonde's new favorite time of the day.

She jumped into her car, not really sure how to reach Emma's mansion as she had been teleported there the last time, but she figured that a huge illuminated house in the middle of the woods couldn't be too hard to find.

She wasn't wrong.

Seeing the building appear in between the trees made her heart flutter. Regina wasn't sure what she was about to tell her, she mainly figured she had to check on her. To make sure she was okay. To make sure she hadn't killed anyone yet…

At first she tried knocking. Softly at first, then a little more firmly. Of course there was no answer.

Regina bit her lower lip, trying to deliberate her next move, when she realized there was music playing inside. She couldn't hear much, but in the absolute quiet of the night, a hollow bass was faintly audible. Emma had to be home.

With a little magic wave of her hand the door clicked and Regina slowly stepped inside. Her heart was pounding in her chest, not sure what to expect as she kept moving across the entirely dark hallway. She turned on a small lamp in order not to trip over anything and held her breath when she realized that Emma had clearly done some _redecorating_.

One wall of the big entrance hall was covered in pictures. Pictures of people she had never seen before, all stuck to a huge map of the United States. Regina swallowed. She could only guess that she was looking at people who had had an impact on Emma's past and, if Regina tried to put herself in the dark one's shoes, she was pretty sure that those were not exactly her best childhood friends.

Regina took a deep breath, realizing that whatever Emma was planning, she most likely needed to be stopped. She was absolutely sure, still, that she'd find a way to free Emma from the darkness and she knew all too well what it felt like to have to look back at the terrible deeds you had done when your mind was possessed by the need for revenge.

The music was much louder now and, to Regina's surprise, she found that she liked it. She had somehow expected Emma to listen to some cheap rock music with distorted guitars – instead it sounded like something you might hear in a rather classy night club. Deep bass, soft vocals. Tasteful.

The sounds came from the living room and Regina knew that there was no turning back now. She had to let Emma know that she was here.

Carefully pushing the living room door open, Regina quickly felt a huge lump in her throat. Before she knew it, the image in front of her had burned itself into her brain and she knew it would take a _really_ long time to get rid of it.

Emma was sitting in an armchair, wearing a tight black dress. Her hair was long and curly, her make-up much heavier than she had ever seen it on the other woman's face. Her lips were red.

What stunned Regina most, however, wasn't Emma's extremely unusual (and extremely attractive) look, it was rather the person straddling her lap, gently sucking on Emma's earlobe. She'd recognize these red highlights anywhere, still she had never expected to see them tickling Emma Swan's face while their owner was grinding against her thigh.

Regina knew she could just leave, she knew she could turn around and walk out of the building and no one would even realize she had been here – yet her body had a mind of its own again, forcing her to interrupt the scene before it could go any further.

"Emma", was all Regina was able to say, still staring at the two women in front of her.

Ruby interrupted her assault on Emma's neck, looking at Regina, confused. Emma, however, didn't look the slightest bit surprised as the corners of her mouth were forming a knowing smile.

"What is she doing here?", Ruby asked, but Emma just pushed the woman off her lap, straightening her dress and pulling one of its black straps back over her bare shoulder.

"Miss Mills. What an honour."

Regina's eyes narrowed and within seconds she understood what was going on.

Emma had made Ruby her pet.

 _Shit_. This was getting out of hand much faster than expected.

"What do you think you're doing, Emma?", Regina whispered, slowly shaking her head at the sight of Little Red Riding Hood standing next to the other woman with a frozen smile on her lips, Emma's lipstick smeared all over her face, her blouse unbuttoned. She looked like a whore.

"What does it look like?", Emma replied with raised eyebrows. "Care to join?"

"Most certainly not, Miss Swan", Regina hissed, looking around the room to see if she could make out where Emma might have hidden Ruby's heart.

"It's here", Emma interrupted her train of thought, completely unimpressed. "Ruby, you may go home now."

Emma spoke into the red and glowing heart in the palm of her hand, just like Regina had done it so many times before in the past. Still, the thought of Emma forcefully pushing her hand into another person's chest and ripping their heart out… it was almost too absurd to be true.

Ruby nodded, still smiling, as she stumbled out of the room, not even bothering to button up her shirt.

"You're a bit of a cock block, Madame Mayor, you know that?"

Regina closed her eyes for a second at the ridiculous choice of words, yet she decided to stay calm.

"Emma… what are you doing with Ruby's heart? I thought she was your friend. Now what, you're using her for _sex_?"

Emma rolled her eyes, pouring herself a drink.

"She'll get her pure little heart back, sooner or later. But I have needs, Regina. And I intend on fulfilling them."

Regina shook her head.

"Emma, you can't – "

"I can't _what_ , Regina?", Emma interrupter her. "I can't do this? Because it's wrong? What are you gonna do about it? Use the dagger and tell me I'm not allowed to touch her anymore? That would be quite a great idea now, wouldn't it?", she spat out before drowning the clear liquid in her glass with one big gulp.

"All I'm saying is…", Regina tried again, "… that you can't just turn your former friends into your sex slaves, Emma. I'm sure there are people out there who'd be happy to do… _stuff…_ with you - without you having to rip their hearts out."

Emma had to laugh, letting herself sink down into the armchair again. "That's so rich coming from you, Mayor Mills. Tell me one thing, do you remember Sheriff Graham?"

Regina felt her chest tighten. Of course Emma _knew_. Killing Graham had been one of her weakest moments – an act she was more than willing to forget.

"Your face tells me you _do_ remember him", Emma said almost cheerfully, her long legs hanging down from one of the armrests. "So, Regina, what is it that you two did together? Before you crushed his heart I mean?"

"We –", Regina started, but was interrupted again.

"Fucked?" Emma asked, still smiling.

Regina sighed.

"Emma, I have learned from my mistakes. I don't want you to repeat them. It's going to make you miserable."

"Is it?", Emma questioned incredulously. "I was actually having a really good time until you showed up."

"Charming. Then who are these people on your wall?", Regina asked bluntly, a challenging look on her face.

Emma's eyes darkened immediately, yet she tried to keep her features under control.

"Old friends", she pressed out, her voice cold. "No one you need to worry about."

Regina sat down across from Emma, her gaze still not leaving hers.

"I do worry though", Regina explained carefully. "No one has seen you in days. I came here to check if you were okay and what I find is a map for your what, killing spree?"

A shadow of guilt seemed to flash over Emma's face and Regina wasn't sure what to make of it. She could see Emma's chest heaving, could see her bite the inside of her cheek as if she were trying to keep calm.

"Emma…", Regina said softly. "You can talk to me."

The music was still echoing through the room and Regina couldn't help but feel mesmerized by Emma's look. Terrifying and fragile at the same time. What a strange mix.

"Who are they? Foster families? Ex-lovers?"

"Stop." Emma pressed out, one eye twitching nervously. "I'm not going to hurt them, if that's what you're concerned about."

She was massaging her temples now, as if she were suffering from a really bad headache. Regina felt the sudden need to hug the other woman.

"I am fighting it, Regina", Emma suddenly admitted. "I am fighting it, but it feels like I'm an ant running away from the kid with the magnifier. I know it's gonna get me, it's just playing with me. So running is not only tiring, it's senseless."

Regina nodded, understanding all too well what Emma must be feeling. She could only imagine what might be going on inside of the other woman's head. There were two hearts beating in her chest. The heart of the Saviour and the heart of the darkest creature of all realms. It was only natural to want to give up and let the more powerful part win at some point.

"I have all of these… _urges_ … that I can't control. It's like I constantly hear all of these voices in my head, I see all of these terrifying images in front of my inner eye… I need a filter, do you understand that? I need to feel something that is strong enough to cut out these thoughts and sounds. My instincts tell me that hurting others might help. It might make me feel better. Sex seems to help, too. It makes me forget for a little while…" She paused.

"I have no idea if it makes any sense to you, but I'm losing it, Regina."

The desperation in Emma's voice hit Regina hard. Even if the beautiful woman in front of her had barely anything in common with the creature from her dream, she seemed to suffer just as much. And it was Regina's fault.

Regina cleared her throat as she got up from the chair and walked over to the bar, preparing two drinks. One for Emma and one for herself.

"I hope you don't mind", she said as she handed Emma a whiskey, giving her a warm smile.

Emma shook her head as she accepted the glass. Her fingertips were instinctively trying to brush along Regina's when her hand snapped back as if she had no control over it, spilling some of the drink over her dress.

"For fuck's sake", Emma muttered, cleaning herself up.

"Are you okay?", Regina asked worried, eyeing the other woman closely.

"Yeah. Not allowed to touch you, remember?"

"Oh", was all Regina managed to whisper, feeling guilty.

She cleared her throat, trying to change the topic and somehow lighten the mood. She took a sip from her drink, enjoying the way the strong alcohol immediately warmed her body.

"So…", she started. "I never knew you were into women…"

She didn't dare look Emma in the eyes, yet a small smile was tugging on her lips for actually having pronounced that sentence.

"You didn't?", Emma replied, amused. "That's strange, 'cause I always knew _you_ were."

Regina felt a blush creep up her face as she met Emma's eyes again.

"And what made you think that?", she asked, not sure she even wanted to hear the answer.

"The yearning looks?", Emma told her with a chuckle.

"I don't _yearn_!", Regina protested, still she couldn't hold back a small laugh.

"So you're saying it's not true?" Emma challenged her. "You're straight?"

Regina took a deep breath, deciding another drink was in order.

"You want another round?", she asked Emma, absolutely aware that her attempt to change the subject was more than ridiculous.

"Absolutely."

Regina handed her another drink, careful not to touch her this time, before sitting down again.

"So what have you been up to these past days? Despite making photo collages?"

Emma looked straight into Regina's eyes before she spoke.

"I've been… practicing."

Regina frowned.

"Practicing magic?"

Emma smiled.

"Indeed. And let me tell you, it's quite impressive. The things I can do with only my mind… I've never felt so much power inside of me. It's like all my senses are heightened. Creating this home was just the beginning, Regina. It goes much further than that."

Regina swallowed. She couldn't deny that the thought was intriguing. She knew that she herself could accomplish a lot with her magic, but being the dark one came with so much more power. Much more power than she had ever been able use.

"Do you… erm", she stuttered. "Do you want to show me?"

She could see Emma's eyes sparkle at the idea, could see her smug grin.

It looked good on her.

"Are you sure?", Emma asked, though she didn't sound insecure. It seemed she rather needed a final confirmation to justify whatever it was she was about to do.

Regina slowly nodded. "I'm sure."

Emma's grin grew wider.

"I want you to relax", she told her, her voice lower than before. "Make yourself comfortable."

Before Regina had a chance to reply, she was suddenly hit by a feeling she had never experienced before and it made her gasp in shock.

All of a sudden she felt even more aware of the other woman's presence, felt her eyes lingering on her body and… she felt her own nipples harden underneath her shirt.

"Wha -… what was that?", she asked carefully, tightening the grip around her glass.

Emma bit her lower lip.

"I don't know, Regina, what do you think it was?"

Regina shook her head in confusion. "I have no idea, it felt as if… as if I – _ooh_."

Another boost of pleasure ran through Regina's body, this time causing her to drop her glass.

Something seemed to be vibrating between her legs. Softly but effectively. It wasn't like being touched, it came more from the inside. It felt warm. Exciting. Unlike anything she had ever experienced.

Regina tried to hold Emma's gaze, hating how aroused she had gotten in what must have been maybe two minutes.

"Does it feel good?" Emma whispered, slowly sending wave after wave of the tiniest vibrations right through Regina's body.

Regina's eyes were closed as she grabbed her chair harder, not able to hold back a soft moan.

"Yeah…", she breathed out, not able to function anymore. Within seconds Emma had brought her body to a state it hadn't been in in a very long time, her brain seemed to shut down completely. She was going to come in front of Emma, fully dressed, without having been touched once – and she didn't even care.

"Do you want me to stop?", Emma asked barely audible as Regina's breathing grew faster.

"I…", Regina stammered. "No."

"That's what I thought", Emma replied, smiling, before suddenly getting up to clean up the mess Regina had made when dropping her drink.

Regina's eyes snapped open, the previous sensation gone as fast as it had come, leaving her breathless.

"What the…" she stuttered, trying to grasp what in the world had just happened. Emma had aroused her with only her mind and fucking _stopped_ right in the middle of it?

"I'm sorry, Regina, but did you really think I'd let you come?", she asked her, almost sounding offended. "Believe me, I know more effective ways."

Regina shook her head, still not believing what she had gotten herself into – again!

"You're unbelievable, Emma Swan. Fucking unbelievable."

Emma grinned.

"You look like you want to go home, Regina, am I right?"

Emma _was_ right, so Regina grabbed her coat, heading straight towards the door, not saying a word. This was too much. Too fucking confusing.

"Regina?", Emma called after her so the other woman would turn around once more.

"I'm glad you ended things with Robin Hood."

Regina stared at her, startled.

"… How do you know?"

Emma just laughed.

"Oh Regina,… the dark one knows everything."


	6. Chapter 6

Here she was, back in the Enchanted Forest, in the middle of the night.

She took a deep breath, looking around, only then realizing that she herself was chained to a tree this time. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest because deep down, Regina knew what was about to happen. It was her dream, after all.

Then she saw her coming closer. She was wearing a long dress. Dark blue. With a corset. It was pushing up her breasts, showing so much cleavage that it could be considered obscene.

Her hair was long and curly, a little tousled, but utterly attractive.

It was one of the more intense dreams, but in a completely exciting way. One of those dreams in which you felt as if you could live out your darkest fantasies. One of those dreams in which you knew you were dreaming but would do anything to keep your body from waking up.

"My queen…", Emma whispered as she finally reached the other woman, her eyes shamelessly devouring Regina's body. Her lips were slightly parted, her tongue wetting her lower lip in anticipation.

Regina couldn't move. Her wrists hurt from the chains but she couldn't care less. The tree felt hard against her back and the air was cold, still her body felt hot and eager.

"Dark one…", Regina finally replied, her voice husky. "Unchain me."

She knew Emma wasn't going to unchain her and she certainly didn't want her to. It was all part of the game. A game she truly enjoyed.

"I don't think I can do that, your majesty", Emma replied, fake pity in her voice. "You might run away before I get the chance to fuck you."

Regina let out a deep sigh, the words sending shivers down her spine. She wanted nothing more than to feel Emma's body against her own, her fingers inside of her. Hard and fast. To forget everything. All of her morals, all of her responsibilities, all of her cares. She wanted nothing but to be taken by the woman in front of her who was impersonating all evil in this world. Nothing excited her more but the thought of being desired by this creature. Of being the dark one's weakness.

"Do you like it?", Regina asked breathlessly. "Do you like seeing me like this? Helpless? Being completely and utterly at your mercy?"

Emma's eyes darkened as she stepped even closer, the look in her eyes so full of raw desire, it made Regina's knees turn weak.

"I fucking _love_ it."

Emma parted Regina's lips with her index finger, daring her to take it into her mouth, which she did. She sucked it slowly, holding the other woman's gaze.

"Good girl…", Emma whispered, a smile tugging on her lips as her free hand started caressing the brunette's soft hair.

It turned Regina on immensely. The thought of not being able to move, of being here for the dark one's pleasure, of giving up control over her own body. The throbbing between her legs became unbearable and she knew she couldn't hold back much longer before she would start begging.

"Emma…", Regina moaned as the other woman let her tongue run along her collarbone. "Please…"

"Oh, you're so needy", Emma mumbled. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? You want me to use you, am I right? I bet you're so wet already…"

Regina nodded frantically, her eyes closed, her head pressed against the tree behind her.

Emma's tongue was travelling lower to the valley of her breasts and she brought her hand between Regina's legs, spreading them further apart. Two fingers were pushing against the clothed core underneath Regina's dress, rubbing the already soaked material of her underwear. Regina thought she was about to explode, trying to push herself harder against the other woman's touch, frustrated by the chains holding her in place, cutting into her flesh.

"More, please", Regina whimpered, not sure she had ever heard her own voice sounding so needy.

Emma smiled viciously.

"I don't think I heard you, my queen."

Regina's breath had become much shorter, she could still feel the woman's fingers press against her clit and it was driving her insane.

"I need more, Emma", she repeated, much louder this time. "I want you to use me."

Emma slowly pushed the fabric of Regina's panties aside, finally touching her where she needed her most as she breathed into her ear.

"Your wish is my command…"

A loud thunder was echoing through Regina's bedroom and the woman opened her eyes, seeing the bright flash of lighting through the closed curtains. She growled, entirely frustrated, pressing her eyes shut again. She pulled the blanket over her head, trying her best to fall asleep again as fast as possible, hoping her mind would pick up right where it had left off. She was still sleepy and she wasn't willing to let herself fully wake up, knowing all too well that she could use her drowsiness as an easy excuse for clinging to that inappropriate fantasy.

The weather, however, wasn't on her side. The sound of heavy raindrops on her roof, the rough wind rattling against the window panes and the rumbling thunder made it hard to shut out the world around her. Regina gave up.

She took a deep breath, realizing that the dream had, in fact, not only caused damp sheets but also a damp feeling between her legs. What the hell was wrong with her? Was Emma powerful enough to control her dreams now? Or was this really a result of her own twisted brain? And why did these things keep happening in the Enchanted Forest? It was deeply disturbing, especially because it felt too real and too… good.

Regina wanted nothing more but to finish the job, to use her own hand to get that much needed release, but she couldn't. Could she? Touching herself while thinking of Emma controlling her was certainly not something she would allow herself.

She grabbed her phone with shaky fingers, pressing her legs together to still the throbbing she felt there. She opened her text messaging app, her thumb pausing on Emma's name. The latest texts were several weeks old, coming from a woman who was nothing like the person Emma had become. Regina missed the old Emma. Missed the woman who had given her a feeling of security rather than a feeling of utter confusion and frustration.

Her thumb was faster than her brain, however, when she started typing a message.

 _I don't know why you're doing this to me._

Suddenly she had hit 'send'.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Emma's head was buried between Ruby's thighs, the rather aggressive nu metal song banging through the room easily drowning all sounds of the huge thunderstorm outside. She was drunk and annoyed, not knowing how to distract herself other than calling the girl back to her house and pretending she had a good time with her.

Nobody knew that she had found a way to leave Storybrooke several times in the past few days, gathering information on certain people from her past. These trips down memory lane had been completely draining, yet she kept telling herself that it was for the greater good. That it would finally give her peace once she had found the information she was looking for and acted accordingly.

Still, whenever she returned to her empty house, it felt as if the walls were going to suffocate her any minute. She tried to remember what her life had been like before it was attached to the dagger, but she couldn't really remember. The memories were present, but they seemed to belong to a different person. The feelings that used to be connected to them were completely gone. She had spied on her parents from afar, trying to awake some kind of emotion inside of her, but all that she had found was emptiness. She had considered talking to Henry, but the thought scared her to no end, knowing exactly that in her current state she should probably stay as far away from the child as possible. There was, in fact, no one she felt connected to except for Regina, and part of Emma knew that Regina didn't feel the same way - and she was not going to force her. Even if her entire being wanted nothing more but to be with her, she couldn't fool herself. She needed the feeling to be mutual, otherwise she would only lie to herself and be even more miserable in the end.

Instead she tried to focus on the woman in front of her who might not be here by choice either but who at least told her what she needed to hear.

"Fuck yes, Emma. You're so good."

… Or _thought_ she needed to hear.

Emma had to roll her eyes, annoyed by the fact that the words didn't have the desired effect at all.

She kept sucking Ruby's clit, opening the buttons of her own jeans to let her hand disappear inside of her panties. She started rubbing herself, hoping she'd quickly find her release and then get some much needed rest.

"Oh, Emma. Yes. Just like that!"

Emma paused, looking up at Ruby with a frown.

"Babe, would you mind staying quiet? I need to focus and you're distracting me."

Ruby nodded with a smile, biting her lower lip as Emma continued caressing her.

Emma kept stroking herself, her hand moving faster inside of her pants as she pressed her eyes shut, Regina's face clearly visible in front of her inner eye. She was licking and sucking, inhaling the very female smell in front of her, trying her best to imagine it was Regina underneath her, moaning her name in that deep and sexy voice that had made her nervous since the first time she had heard her speak.

She tried to imagine the expression on Regina's face when she'd be close to the edge, tried to imagine her begging for release and it made her feel even more powerful. The thought of having _that_ effect on the other woman, of being desired by her, it was all she could wish for lately.

She wanted her fingers to be surrounded by Regina's warmth, wanted to kiss her, tease her and – most of all – wanted to see it in Regina's eyes… wanted to see that it meant more to her. That there was still hope for her, or _them_ , in this rather depressing reality.

Suddenly she felt Ruby come, felt her muscles clench around her fingers, yet it didn't bring herself any closer to the edge. Emma gave up, fastening up her jeans again as she let the other woman recover from her orgasm.

This was wrong on so many levels, Emma knew that. She hadn't been able to help herself, but a small part of her was fully aware that what she had just done could never be excused. That small voice that kept creeping back into her mind every now and then, making her feel even worse about her own actions than any other person ever could. She looked at the woman in front of her, remembering Regina's words. Ruby used to be her friend.

Emma turned away from the other woman, closing her eyes as she suddenly pushed her hand into her own chest, reaching for her heart. She ripped it out, forcefully, trying to hold back a pained groan. Holding it in her hand, she could clearly see what she'd already been expecting - a rather big black stain, darkening a heart that used to be pure and filled with love.

She gritted her teeth before pushing it back into her chest with one swift movement, sighing hard.

"Please get dressed" , she spoke into the room, not able to turn around again just yet.

She could hear Ruby search for her clothes and waited another moment until she figured the girl must be looking decent again.

Emma turned off the music, pouring herself another drink. She could finally hear the thunder outside, the sounds mirroring perfectly what she was feeling inside. The voices in her head had returned, most of them telling her that it was stupid to send Ruby away before she had gotten off herself. The small voice, however, was screaming at her, asking her what the hell she had done and how she could still look at herself in the mirror.

As long as the voice of reason was still audible, she figured she'd have to be grateful for it. She had seen what had happened to Gold. Had seen him close to dying because of a heart that had turned entirely black. Yes, Gold might have lived many many years as the dark one, but Emma wasn't sure she'd hold out that long. She had had the biggest potential for darkness, who knew how fast it was going to eat her up entirely?

She slowly stepped behind the bar, opening the small box with Ruby's heart before taking it out and looking at it with regret.

"I want you to forget this ever happened", she spoke into the heart. "Now leave. And as soon as you're back home, I want you to forget that you've ever set a foot into this house."

Emma sighed heavily before softly pushing the heart back into Ruby's chest.

The other woman looked at her, slightly confused, before remembering what she was told and quickly leaving the building.

Emma was alone again, letting herself sink down onto the couch. No amount of alcohol was going to help her get rid of what she was feeling.

She grabbed her phone, surprised to find a text on her screen.

A text from Regina.

Her heart started beating faster as she read it, over and over again.

 _I don't know why you're doing this to me._

Emma knew she needed to reply, but there were a million thoughts in her mind. Far too many to stuff them into a single text.

After a moment, she realized there was only one thing that was short enough and still summed up what she was feeling.

 _I don't know what I'm doing either. I'm so fucking scared. I need you._

Then she hit 'send'.

xxxx

 **A/N: I warned you it was going to get darker. It's rather difficult to explain, but I think there are many things, besides killing someone, that might turn a person's heart black. A lot of things are beyond Emma's control as long as she's cursed and it might be difficult to deal with that... Anyways -I hope the next chapter will be longer again but a very annoying stomach flu made the writing process a little harder. Reviews are always appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

' _I'm scared_ '? … ' _I need you_ '?

Regina's heart was beating fast in her chest. Those words were not exactly what she had expected to get as a reply.

Before Regina knew it, she was sitting in her car, driving to Emma's mansion. Her eyes were fixated on the road in front of her, her fingers grabbing the steering wheel much harder than necessary. It was foggy and, of course, still the middle of the night – but Emma needed her.

She hadn't expected the other woman to sound so desperate and it worried her. It worried her to think that it was actually _Emma_ texting her. That the woman she cared for was trapped inside her own body, struggling with the dark one, probably not knowing how long she would be able to resist all the desires that were even more dangerous than turning someone into her sex puppet.

She drove as fast as she could. Of course she could have teleported herself into Emma's house, but then again she didn't want to show up there unannounced. She wanted to make sure that Emma truly wanted her to be there, so she decided to take the conventional way. If only the conventional way were a little faster!

When she finally arrived at the mansion, Regina parked her car right in front of its entrance with squealing tires, hastily stumbling out of her seat and knocking against the door only a second later.

"Emma… Emma it's me."

She couldn't hear anything, not even music, and it worried her. Emma had sent the text about an hour ago. Maybe she had fallen asleep?

"Emma, please. I just want to make sure you're okay."

The door swung open, even though Emma was still nowhere to be seen.

Regina stepped inside, turning on the lights, following the hallway into the direction of the living room. The pictures on the wall were gone.

"Emma…?", she asked again, standing in the doorframe.

Then she saw her.

Lying on the floor, several empty bottle next to her head.

"Oh god, Emma, are you okay?", she asked, running over to the other woman who was, thankfully, wide awake. Her make-up was smeared all over her face and she was staring at the ceiling, the room illuminated by nothing but a few candles on the table.

"You came…", Emma whispered.

Her head didn't move, only her eyes wandered over to Regina and a soft smile was tugging on her lips.

"Of course I came…", Regina said softly, kneeling down on the floor next to her. "You said you needed me."

Regina looked around the room and only then noticed that the pictures that had previously been on Emma's wall were now spread behind her on the floor. Some of them looked as if they had been set on fire, others were ripped into many small pieces.

It broke her heart to see Emma like this. She looked completely broken and, unsurprisingly, wasted.

"Do you want to talk about it?", Regina asked carefully and Emma shook her head.

"Okay then…" Regina went on and lay down next to the other woman, only a few inches of space between them.

They were lying like this in silence for a while until Emma found her voice again.

"What did you mean?" she whispered.

"What did I mean by what?"

"Your text", Emma clarified. "You said you didn't know why I was doing this to you… What did you mean?"

Regina took a deep breath, deciding that honesty was the only thing that would get them anywhere.

"I've been having… _dreams_. Of you. Or us, rather."

"What kind of dreams?", Emma queried, slowly turning her head to look at the other woman.

Regina reached out her hand, her thumb brushing lightly against Emma's face in order to wipe away the mascara that was running down her cheeks in dark, black lines.

Emma shivered at the unexpected touch.

"We were in the Enchanted Forest. The dreams keep coming back, though the scenario is slightly different. There's… fire… and we're…" She swallowed. "We're close."

Emma smiled, biting her lower lip.

"You're having sex dreams of us, Madame Mayor?"

Regina huffed, yet she couldn't hide a small smile.

"If that's how you want to put it."

Emma shifted her position until she was laying on her side, supporting herself on one elbow, looking straight into Regina's eyes.

"And you're wondering what it means…"

Regina nodded.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?", Emma wanted to know, though her voice was sincere and not as mocking as Regina had expected it to be.

"It confuses me", she admitted, brushing some hair behind her ear.

"You…", she continued, "…you don't have anything to do with it, do you?"

Emma laughed, shaking her head.

"I wish. I can do a lot of things, but I don't think I can do _that_ , Regina. That is your own brain. Congratulations."

Regina nodded again, avoiding the other woman's eyes.

"You said you were scared…" Regina tried again. "What are you scared of?" She knew she probably wouldn't get an answer to her question, but she was here to help after all.

"My heart…" Emma replied softly. "My heart is turning black. Like Gold's."

Regina could feel her body tense.

The heart she had wanted to protect so badly.

The thought alone hurt.

"Have you seen it?"

Emma nodded.

"I have."

Regina got up into a sitting position, hugging her own knees in front of her body, toying with her fingernails.

"I'm sorry, Emma."

Why on earth hadn't she found a way to help her yet? She wished she could talk to Gold, but the man was still in a coma. She wondered if he'd ever wake up again. And if Emma would be facing a similar fate in the future.

"I gave Ruby her heart back", Emma changed the topic and Regina's head snapped up.

"You did?", she asked surprised. "That's… that's great, Emma. I'm proud of you. What made you do it?"

"I don't know…", Emma explained truthfully. "I had told her to come over and… we were getting it on…"

Regina felt herself make a fist at the mere thought of it, but she didn't want to interrupt Emma, deciding to swallow down the jealousy that left a foul taste in her mouth.

"… it didn't help me at all. I thought it would. This… _dark side_ inside of me… it wanted to fuck her. It wanted to use her. To mark her as mine. To control her…. But… "

"But…?" Regina asked carefully.

"But I am still me. I am still here. I am still fighting it." She sighed. "I could hear your voice, Regina. I could hear you telling me how wrong it is. Weird, huh? You, of all people, the little angel on my shoulder."

Regina had to chuckle, a feeling of pride warming her insides. "Yeah. Who would have thought…"

"To be quite honest, I am really fucking wasted right now", Emma went on, slowly getting up into a sitting position herself. She was pressing her hand against her forehead, obviously dizzy. "But the more I numb my body, the better I can shut out the voices…"

Regina reached out her hand to stroke the other woman's leg.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you pity me."

"I don't!", Regina defended herself, even though she knew Emma was right. She did pity her. But most of all, she still felt incredibly guilty.

"You do. But I guess I can't blame you. I must look pitiful. What a great dark one I am. Lying knackered on the floor, not even able to get off with my head between a hot woman's thighs. Not even able to fucking track down a person outside of Storybrooke because I can't use my magic there. Not even able to ignore the fucking voice of the _saviour_ inside of my own head…" She paused before looking into Regina's eyes again.

"…not even able to get the woman I want… to want me back."

Regina closed her eyes.

"Emma…"

"It's okay, Regina. You're right not to want me. It's just the darkness, right? 'Cause the darkness likes the way you taste, not me. If I were you, I'd keep the hell away from me too."

There were tears in Emma's eyes now and Regina's head was spinning. The light of the candles was reflecting in Emma's eyes and, as weird as it was, Emma looked entirely beautiful. Her hair was tousled, her lipstick was almost gone, her shirt was hanging loosely around her shoulders and her smudgy eyeliner had left dark circles underneath her eyes. But she was seeing her. She was seeing Emma. She was seeing more of her than she probably ever had. Even before all of this had happened.

"I'm not scared of the darkness…", Regina admitted slowly.

"But…?", Emma questioned, her eyes hopeful.

"I'm scared of you. Of… wanting you and then… losing you."

Emma closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.

"Regina… you… you are the only thing that's still making any sense to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to make you believe that. I don't know if it's really the darkness that makes me feel that way. All I know is that I can't stop it. Right now I really don't know why you would ever lose me. If you'd… if you'd let me, I…" she stuttered. "I'd give you anything you could wish for."

"Give me some honesty then", Regina told her. "Tell me who it is you're looking for. Why you're leaving Storybrooke."

"I need to find closure, Regina", Emma explained. "I need to finally speak to someone I haven't dared to speak to when I should have. Let's say, I still have a score to settle with said person."

Regina sighed.

"And you think that will make it better?"

Emma's gaze turned hard.

"Yes."

"Okay...", Regina said slowly. "Then I'll help you. I'll help you look for him… or her. We'll leave town and I'll make sure that… that you're okay. I'll be the little angel on your shoulder… even though I find the image a little ridiculous", she added with a frown.

Emma's chin dropped at hearing Regina say those words, her eyes moving rapidly from left to right as if she hadn't fully understood.

"You're serious?"

"Absolutely."

Emma's gaze softened and, for just a second, the darkness seemed to be gone. Regina couldn't see it anymore. All she could see was a genuine smile on the other woman's lips. A tired smile, however, that showed her just how much it actually meant to Emma. How this huge weight seemed to be lifted off her shoulders.

"I… I want to hug you, but I can't", Emma stuttered, her voice small. It felt like a sharp pain inside Regina's chest.

In an instant, she had her arms wrapped around Emma's body, pressing her close. Her hand was stroking the back of Emma's head and Regina inhaled her smell. She smelled like sex and alcohol, but underneath that layer, there was something sweet. Something indescribable. Something that made her want to stay close to her for much, much longer.

Emma's body was stiff and she wasn't able to return the embrace. The soft sigh, however, told Regina that Emma enjoyed the contact just as much as she did herself.

"You… you can touch me, Emma", Regina whispered, barely audible.

Emma smiled against Regina's shoulder.

"I can't…"

"But I just told you you could, I -"

"It doesn't work that way", Emma interrupted her. "Only the dagger itself can undo its own orders. You have to hold it to give me new orders or to undo your old ones."

Regina sighed. "I'm sorry… I should have known."

"It's okay."

They remained like this for a little while longer, Emma's face buried between Regina's neck and shoulder, Regina's lips pressed against soft blonde hair.

"Do you want me to stay until you've fallen asleep?", Regina whispered, carefully stroking the other woman's back.

"I'd like that", came the almost shy reply.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Regina woke up from the phone that was vibrating in her pocket. It was bright outside – apparently she had fallen asleep, too. Her neck hurt as she had been sitting on Emma's sofa for the past few hours, Emma's head on her lap. The woman was still fast asleep and Regina carefully tried to get up without waking her, replacing her own legs with a pillow she found nearby.

She quickly left the room, closing the door behind her before answering her incoming call.

"Hello?"

"Regina… it's Belle."

The woman on the other end sounded as if she were crying and Regina figured there was only one reason she'd call. Gold had probably passed.

"What is it, Belle?", she asked huskily, massaging her own neck. "What happened?"

Belle tried to hold back a sob.

"It's about Rumple… He's finally awake. He's okay, Regina. I'm so happy!"

Regina's brows furrowed and she swallowed. Somehow she was glad that he'd made it. She was happy for Belle and she was relieved to get a chance to talk to him. On the other hand, all of this was his fault. If they hadn't tried to save him, none of this would be happening. Emma would be okay.

She pushed away those thoughts, taking a deep breath.

"Thanks for letting me know, Belle. I'll come over. And I need to speak with him – alone."

xxxxxxx

 **A/N: Updates will be getting longer as soon as I'm done with finals. Promise!**

 **Also: Several people have asked me about the music playing in Emma's mansion. If you're interested, I have a "Swan Mansion" playlist on Spotify. Message me and I'll send you the link! You can also connect with me on tumblr if you like (lovebugxblog). Thanks for reading!**


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